Power of Soaking

A couple weeks ago on my Committed to Overcome page, I shared about my struggle with poor memory and comprehension. I shared the struggles I have staying focused and getting through bible study and any other non-fiction book. These are on the list of many that I am committed to overcome.

The other night I was sitting in the living room while my husband watched TV. My heart really wanted to be spending time with the Lord, working through my current study The Power of a Praying Woman. The thought of instrumental worship came to mind, so I pulled up YouTube and came upon Instrumental Soaking Worship. Talk about a game changer!

Saturdays' listening was a 3 hour one similar to what I have shared. I plugged in my headphones, hit play and literally became absorbed in my bible study for almost the entire time. The music played softly through my ears and allowed my focus to solely be on what was in front of me.

My plan this week is to use this method daily not just as a way to go deeper with God but also to help me stay focused while I learn about and work my new Avon business, when I sit down to write, even when I clean the house. We have a Roku for our TV, so I can easily pull up YouTube on there and soak the house LOL

I first learned about soaking when I went to a local Bethel Church conference here in NC a few years ago, but never put it into practice. I'm thankful God placed this on my heart as a way to draw closer to Him.<3 span="">

Here's an article about soaking prayer if you'd like to read more about it: What is Soaking Prayer?

Blessings in Christ, 

~ Brandy

This video is not the same as my first find but very similar. I pray that it blesses you and helps you grow deeper with God and brings you back to a place of focus.

Weigh In Wednesday

Well y'all, its Weigh In Wednesday and I honestly have no idea how it will go, at this point my prayer is that I just maintain. Last night we went to an impromptu birthday party where there was pizza, chips, cheese doodles and cupcakes... eek! Put that on top of a McDonald's sausage burrito before meeting some gals yesterday morning and a lunch of Cool Turkey wrap with a side of Black Bean Corn Salsa and chips while hanging out with my Golden Girls and I am more than certain my salt intake was too high LOL

Too much salt = water retention which most times = weigh gain.

So I ate a banana when I got home to help flush out the overage in sodium. But you know what? I'm actually ok with it all. While my whole purpose of joining Weight Watchers was to lose weight and get healthy, I still fully intend to enjoy life. Not every day is like yesterday, most days I eat all 3 meals at home or from my lunch bag.

Here's what I can say about yesterday. I got to spend a small portion of my morning with some great ladies that I met when I used to attend the Tuesday weigh in meeting. Lunch was spent with 10 amazing ladies, some I have known for years, others I just met this year. We got together to support a friend who recently lost her son and presented her with a beautiful necklace as a symbol of the closeness of their hearts and also our love for her. We celebrated our friendship over food and coffee, just like we do most every Tuesday. Then last night was a party with family, which we are blessed to have close by.

Back to Weight Watchers... on a good note, I tracked almost all the food I ate this week in my app. The past several week I've been slacking a bit. After 5 months of being in the program, I have finally incorporated exercise into my daily routine. Truly blessed to have lost the first 25# merely by changing what I was putting into my mouth but know that exercise is a must not just for my weight loss to progress but for healthier living over all.

So why am I ok if I just happen to maintain this week or even have a a little gain? For starters, I have been able to bring down 2 stacks of clothes from the top shelf of my closet. Majority of them have not graced this body in over 3 years, maybe more! Not NOW... the majority fit comfortably and a few will fit better once I lose another 5 pounds LOL This is HUGE! It also means that more of the every day clothes I have been wearing for years will now be removed from my closet and be given away.

Progress doesn't always show up on the scale. That is why we have what are called NSV's (Non Scale Victories). Lately the one that gets me most excited is being able to pull my pants off at the end of the day without unbuttoning or unzipping them LOL it's the little things folks, really, it is.

Thanks for following me on my journey through life :) Hope you all have an amazingly awesome day!

Blessings in Christ,

~ Brandy

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Self-Sabotage

I’m currently in a women’s bible study at Refuge Church in Richlands, NC called Armor of God by Priscilla Shirer. I’m a little behind (nothing new LOL) but I don’t want to rush through it as I would like to get as much out of it as God would allow me to. This morning I was studying Week 1, Day 4 and let me tell you, it really spoke to me in light of my current struggle. Let me share what God has shown me today.

#ArmorOfGod - The enemy carefully considers and calculates your current situation, taking into account your weaknesses and strengths, your interests and tendencies, your history and past abuses, everything! THEN he crafts a specific strategy to hook and reel you in.

Absolute truth right here. The last several days I feel like I have been self-sabotaging. It's been a little over 5 years since I've been under 200 pounds and now the enemy is trying to feed me a handful of lies to trip me up. He knows my weakness, knows my past behaviors and is trying to trigger all those things to get me to fall off track and not have victory in the area of my health.

#ArmorOfGod - Satan is tricky, but he is not original or creative. He’s always had the same basic game plan. And if you’re watching, you’ll see that sometimes the areas where he’s targeting you are the ones you’d already expect. By being proactive in prayer and girded in the spiritual armor, you’ll be able to detect his secret plans before the attack unfolds and you can sabotage his efforts to deceive and disable you.

What I need to be doing is sabotaging his effort, NOT letting him sabotage all the progress I have made over the last 9 weeks! He pulls from all of my old reasons for losing weight and starts throwing them at me. I know full well that I am doing this so I can be healthy and that there are no ulterior motives like trying to catch another’s eye. But because all my weight loss efforts in the past were linked to getting “skinny” because I was out of one relationship and looking for another, the enemy plays right into that.

It’s funny that I am sitting here writing about the enemy, who is often referred to as a serpent or snake and I have literally been watching a black snake slither through my yard for the last 30 minutes LOL He slinks through the grass, pops up his head then slinks through some more thinking he is not being seen. Amazingly, every time I look up from my book or computer, it has only taken me mere seconds to find him… even when he is slithering. Amazing how God works and the way he uses things right in front of us to bring his point home. What would be great is if I could always recognize him that quickly, but it isn’t always the case.

#ArmorOfGod - Our predispositions and weaknesses are what the enemy WILL USE to exploit us. Whether from our upbringing, our inborn personalities, or vulnerabilities created by events in our life, these appetites of ours inform the enemy of what bait to use when targeting us. If promiscuity has been part of your history (wow Priscilla, you must have wrote this just for me), he’ll want to keep that fire burning in your body while sending enticing offers to lead you astray. 

Knowing these things; knowing the thought process that has been ingrained in my brain in relation to weight loss; knowing how the enemy has derailed me in the past, almost to the point of losing my marriage because I took “the bait”, calls me to realize that I need a plan… a strategy born from God that will put that snake right back in the hole he came from. Praise God, my husband and I will be celebrating 10 years of marriage this July. But 5 years ago, when I lost all that weight and pride got the best of me, I let my guard down and the enemy played into all those weak spots. After that I let fear pave the way and decided that fat equaled unattractive which in turn equaled safe and that is the mindset I have been stuck in for 5 years, and likely why my weight continued to increase.

fat = unattractive = safe

Now that I know better and am more aware of the ways I self-sabotage, I know that a new thinking pattern is in order. I know that I NEED to allow God to reprogram my brain from thinking that losing weight is a tool to get the attention of others. So my plan this week is to create a list of (fat =) vs (healthy =) so that when the enemy tries to feed me lies, I am ready to fight back!

A few things on what getting healthy now means to me:

*  To be able to serve God in a greater capacity.

*  Restore intimacy in my marriage (cause when you don’t like looking at yourself, you really don’t want others to look at ya either and this can create an issue)

*  Rebuilding the Temple of the Holy Spirit that I have destroyed.                                 

     1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (NLT) 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Now it’s time to get back on track, literally. My tracking in the #weightwatchers app has been off the last 3 days. My journal writing has been sparse and I’m just not as on fire as I was when I first started on this path. Time to look again at my why, make some small goals and continue working toward a healthier me.

I would love your feedback! Feel free to leave a comment. What have been ways you have self-sabotaged in the past or currently are in the present?

Blessings in Christ,

~Brandy

56 days - 8 weeks

It’s the night before weigh in and I am wondering what tomorrow morning will bring. My eating has been a bit out of balance this past week. The first time since joining Weight Watchers that I have gone into negative double digits with my weeklies. Blue dots? I managed to get 4, which in reality is a good thing. So, maybe the scale will give me a good read out tomorrow after all?

On some level I feel like I was self-sabotaging this week. Seriously y’all, as of last Tuesday I was exactly 1.3 pounds away from ONEderland and only 2.2 pounds away from the goal I set for this four week block (199). In reality it’s an easy win as 5 out of my last 7 weigh-ins have registered a 2-4 pound loss. Again, I’m eight weeks in and honestly I think I’m just getting comfortable. What I need to do is hit this program head on like I did the first week I joined. I need to mix things up, plan some new meals and most importantly… GET MOVING! When it comes to exercise, I am the Queen of Procrastination LOL

Of course, I have proved that you can lose weight just by changing what you eat. Not that I am discounting exercise as I know it is essential for overall good health. But I’m completely amazed that I’ve lost over 17 pounds just by making better food choices AND eating proper portions and not binging. So yes, I very well could step on that scale tomorrow and hit my mini goal, but in all honesty I have no idea which way it is going to go.

The old me would have likely hopped on the scale this morning for a sneak peek to see how close or far off I was. Thankfully, I have learned that while I do need the number to drop, it cannot be my focus. And though I may sound a little worried or concerned about what tomorrow holds, I’m actually not that stressed out about it. I’m ready to accept whatever it is and learn from it. Bottom line, if it doesn’t pan out the way I hoped, then I have no one to blame but myself. BUT I’m not going to beat myself up over it! Seriously folks, over the last 56 days I have steadily lost weight, which for me is HUGE!!! The last thing I am going to do is let a few bad days over the course of one week throw me off kilter.

If it happens that I don’t make my goal tomorrow, then I am just going to hunker down in week nine, surrender it all to God, commit to at least six blue dots, strive to exercise 3-4 days and show that scale who’s boss. YES!!

Five years... that’s how long it has been since I have seen a number under 200 on the scale. It feels so good to finally be serious about taking my life back, to getting myself healthy once and for all; so close to he place they call ONEderland. That said, here’s to a good nights sleep and to waking up with the same hope and positive attitude I have right now. Everything is going to work out just as it should. I’m thankful for every step of this journey, thankful for all that I have learned so far, thankful to God for filling me with His strength when mine was tapped out. That’s all for now folks, catch you on the flip side!

I would love to hear from you! Feel free to post words of encouragement or share your own story in the comments.

Blessings in Christ,

Brandy

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Non Scale Victories (NSV)

//  5  // weeks since starting Weight Watchers

// 35 // days of tracking what I eat and being satisfied

// 13 // pounds lost so far

// 3 // number of cute charms aka bling received for goals reached

Can I just say, the journey so far has been AHHH-MAZING!

Who knew that in the span of 5 weeks I could feel like a brand new person?

Before I started WW, I struggled big time for many years with food addiction. I tried so many things to get myself together and though I thought I was seeking God, I was more or less running out ahead of Him. Then something happened which caused me to step on the scale and I hit my "new" highest weight and it literally brought me to a place of complete surrender.

One website led to another and then somehow I landed on the WW page. And I felt something within me say "this is it, this is what you need." So I prayed, like really prayed and also sought input from friends who had or were on the program. The next day, I knew within my spirit that this was the path God had for me, so I joined.

Today I am going to talk about a number of #NSV's that have come about since God led me down this path. For starters, not a day has gone by that I have not thanked Him for leading me to Weight Watchers. Ok, so here are some of the "side-effects" this amazing program has brought about for me :)

#focused

#motivated

#more energy

#no urge to binge/overeat

#structure  (HUGE blessing!)

#body is learning full/hungry signals

#vertigo episodes significantly reduced

#new found confidence -->> I no longer hate what I see when I look in the mirror! Instead of focusing on all of my flaws, I now notice all of the little changes that come with getting healthy.

#not feeling deprived -->> All I can say is, if you feel deprived on WW, then you are not doing it right. With all the 0, yes ZERO point foods there is no way one can go to bed hungry! Like my leader said, if you are hungry... truly hungry, then an apple will satisfy you.

#no more meal alarms -->> Yes, I used to set alarms to "remind" me when to eat so I didn't go too many hours without food. If too long passed, I would become hangry and the consequences of that would put me in the McDonald's drive thru. Now I eat when my body tells me to eat. This is a totally new feeling!

#no longer obsessed -->> Coming from a place of food being my main focus, it is so nice to no longer be controlled by it. Food was something that was always on my mind, always craving but because the way I look at it has changed, so have my thoughts about it. I look at it now as a necessity, not a desire to be met. Our purpose is not "live to eat" which was pretty much what I did. Rather we are to "eat to live". 

#no major cravings -->> Now that I am actually giving my body the real nutrition that it needs to function, my cravings are almost obsolete. When there is something that I really want, I now consider my options and make the best choice for my health. I LOVE sweets! Thankfully they are no longer the bulk of what I eat, cause I used to eat A LOT of sugary processed stuff. Now when I want mint chocolate chip ice cream, I choose Halo Top and yes, most times eat the whole pint LOL Best part? I don't feel guilty if I do, because I know it is a healthier choice than eating half of a half gallon of my old brand and with the amount of protein in it, it's a meal in itself. Another thing folks, sugar free candy is actually good! There's even a number of good salty snacks out there that are healthier than greasy potato chips.

#accountability -->> Contrary to what some folks believe, we DO NOT weigh in front of a group of people. I take that back LOL we do weigh with a group of people but the scale read out faces the WW lady, NOT all the folks standing in line behind me. She records it in my little book, then I join the others folks for the meeting. I'm also a firm believer in MEETINGS! They are so encouraging and offer more support than I ever would have thought. It's great getting together with folks who are on the same path as you, sharing tips, recipes, our ups and downs and best of all, cheering each other on. 

#no stretched shirts -->> Some of y'all know exactly what I am talking about. Used to be that when I would put on one of my shirts, I'd put my forearms in the bottom and s - t - r - e - t - c - h it out so that it wouldn't be snug around my middle. Admit it, you have done this LOL Now, I pull a shirt out of the closet, pop it over my head and I'm good to go. I am actually comfortable with how they fit now!

And the biggest #NSV of all.....

#scale freedom -->> Most times when I would attempt to lose weight and get healthy, I would also become scale obsessed. Often weighing myself daily and being so focused on the number that it was all I thought about. On a Sunday, two days before I joined WW, I had a small upset, which lead me to the scale that I hadn't hopped on in some time. The number staring back at me was the highest weight I had ever seen. That was the last time I used my home scale. I joined WW that Tuesday and made the decision that my only weigh in's would be with them at my meetings. No longer being in "bondage" to the scale has been a HUGE victory. Best part is that when Tuesday rolls around, I don't even feel stressed or anxious a bout weighing in. I pray on the road as I drive to my meeting and decide ahead of time that I will accept whatever the scale says. Talk about freeing!!! Even better is that when I do have a loss, especially a big one, it's a surprise for both myself and the gal weighing me in LOL

Ok y'all, that's about all the time I got this morning for writing. It's about time I head out for my weekly breakfast date at the local coffee shop with my BFF. YES!!! I still eat out too!!

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Have an amazingly awesome day friends!

Blessing in Christ, 

~Brandy

A New Direction

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NASB) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.

For years, I leaned on my own ability to “fix” my issues with food; to “fix” my health. I trusted my own knowledge for what I thought was best. I sought help from books, websites, and friends. Not that this is bad, but I neglected to truly seek it from the one who knows me best; the One who already knew the right way for me to go. Why does it take us so long to move in the right direction? Why must we fail and fall numerous times before we seek the One who leads us to success? It’s that darn free will LOL

True, I did seek input from others who have used or are currently in Weight Watchers. I took the time to do my own research on the program as well. And I did pray through these things once the info from other sources stopped flowing. I then took all that to the Lord and asked if this was the right step for me. I did my homework then waited for the evaluation of 'yay' or 'nay'.

So my conversation with God went like this:

“Is this what will work for me Lord? I’m tired of trying and failing. I know it’s because I run out ahead of you most of the time but this time, I really want to know if this is Your will for me. I’m not going to take the next step unless I know for sure. Oh Lord, I desperately want to be healthy. I’ve destroyed this temple, abused it for so many years and if I continue on the path I’m on, sooner than later it will fall to pieces. I’m ready to start rebuilding it brick by brick. I know Lord, it’s going to take some time because I’ve done some serious damage, not just to the outside but inside as well. There will be times when the process goes fast and weeks where little may happen, but I will trust You no matter what. I want to be able to live and move and breathe for Your Kingdom purposes.”

I compared myself to a dull, rusty robot, its gears all corroded on the inside for lack of movement; unable to move because weeds and vines have grown up where they don’t belong prohibiting it from doing what it was intended for.

Because I ate for comfort and chose foods that had no benefits for my body, fat now surrounds my organs threatening to suffocate them. I’m sluggish, unable to move in ways I used to, unable to take pleasure in things I once enjoyed. And the poor choices show through on the outside as well. The tiredness on my face, too many “Peeps” have grown a second chin, too many donuts made what used to be a tiny bump of a belly into a large roll and so on. My eyes no longer sparkled, hair no longer shined because for so long I deprived my temple of what it needed, all for the sake of comfort food in the face of stress, anxiety, depression and laziness.

But God… has set my feet on a new path. One that will oil my gears and set them spinning again, weed out the bad habits that keep me stuck, filling my tank with good fuel that will purge out the sludge. This new direction promotes structure on a daily basis, something I have been without for far too long and so desperately need to have. It gives me opportunity to walk alongside others with the same mission. It calls me to “own” my choices, to come before others and check my progress weekly. Accountability without condemnation. There are rewards as we move closer to health, encouragement when we are stuck, support and solutions when we start going backward.

Not only will this new path break the bonds of fat on my organs, but also the labels, the chains that have bound me for far too long. I’m saying goodbye to stress, anxiety, depression and all the other things that poor health has left me with and saying hello to life and the ability to live in such a way that brings God glory. Thank you Lord, for this new direction. Thank you for setting my feet on the path to health and wellbeing.

Blessings in Christ,

Brandy ~

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