You Talking to Me?

I was going to title this "Attention Please" but I figured after yesterdays post with all the talk of how needy I am at the present time, that it wouldn't be a good way to start and might run people off LOL

So a little after 7 this morning I get a text that wakes me out of bed. Well not really, I was already awake just wasn't sure if I wanted to put my feet on the floor yet :) The text was simple: Psalms 121:1-3. I throw my feet over the side of the bed then make my way across the house to my computer room figuring if God is going to send an angel to throw me a lifeline this early then I need to be up and at 'em. The scripture was one I knew, at least verse 1 and 2 but the 3rd verse I never managed to remember but it is oh so important! 

Psalm 121:1-3

1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

How wonderful to know that we are so important to God that he is watching out for us 24/7? Not that I didn't know it already, I guess I just see it in a different light now. And he will not let our foot slip! Total confidence booster if you ask me. The way I see it is this... if we do our part (lift our eyes to Him, trust Him, seek Him daily) then we can be confident that God will do his part (help us, keep us from falling). 

Now it's 11am and I'm about to get my worship on with all my peeps at Living Hope. We do a super speedy rendition of "I'll Fly Away" and from there transition to "Always" by Kristian Stanfill. Not thinking ahead to what the words in the song are I just start singing my heart out as I always do. Voices are uplifted in praise and then there it is, right there on the screen:

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

Back the bus up! That is the exact scripture that got me out of bed this morning and now 

here it is again? I smile and say to my husband "you think God is trying to tell me something?" Then it dawned on me that even though I have been praying about my struggle, I haven't been looking to God enough for help. That I have spent more time trying to work this on my own than relying on Him and His strength. Well no more of that!

Yesterday was a new beginning. Last night God showed me why I am still in bondage to this addiction... a story for another day. Today He gave me new hope. 

Thank you Lord for the people you have placed in my life and for the work that you are doing in and through them; how you are using it not just to bless me but to bless those around me.

Love y'all ~ Brandy

If you can't see the video that is posted below, click here to watch Always by Kristian Stanfill

I Will Beat This

I was googling some scriptures online this morning to help me with an addiction that has held me captive for far too long. Food addiction. I absolutely have no control over what I eat and how much I consume and I'll be honest, it scares me. You would think that would be enough for me to fight with all that is in me, but it's not. They say food addiction is the hardest to overcome since food is needed for sustenance. Not that I prefer to have another addiction instead of this one as all of them come with their own struggles. 

I have tried time and again to get control over it, not just on my own but on occasion with the help of others and through God centered bible studies. I do good for about 2-3 weeks then a craving gets hold of me and I give in. Within a few days I am completely off the wagon and right back where I started. It is a very destructive cycle. The older I get, the more concerned I become that I haven't been able to get a handle on this.

For me it's not about being thin, it's about getting healthy. Right now, that's a long way off. At this point I would be satisfied just to get out of the obese range and into the overweight category. But I struggle daily and am unable to get a grip on it. I have no off switch; no sensor that tells my brain to stop eating; no feeling of full which all contribute to my current state of being. 

I know it pains my husband to see me like this; to see me struggling and not able to do anything for me; to see me emotional and not be able to comfort me. He too seems to be at a loss on how to help me. 

Back to the "googling"... 

I already knew one verse and where to find it. Matthew 4:4 says that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. The other that came to mind was from John 4:32 where Jesus says that he has food to eat that they know nothing about. It was this second verse that lead me to a page at Heartlight Magazine and there I found these words about this scripture:

"Jesus had real food, food that sustained his soul and not just his body. While food is greatly valued by Jesus and his disciples, we must always remember that Jesus is trying to open our eyes so we can see the real food God longs to provide us. The same power that sustained Jesus can sustain us. Let's find that food!"

Following that was a prayer:  

"Open my eyes, dear Lord, and help me see what is important. Turn my heart to your will, your Word, and your Spirit for I know that only these can truly nourish me and sustain me. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."

My hope is to take what I learned today and use it daily. I have written the prayer on an index card and plan to carry it with me. So when I want to eat the bag of chips sitting in the kitchen just because I can rather than out of hunger; when I'm at the store and want to buy a box of donuts and go home and scarf them all down because I love how they taste; when I want to eat a second breakfast cause the first one I just finished didn't satisfy me even though I know I got enough calories from it to sustain me... I can pull the card out of my pocket and read it. Even if it means standing in the aisle at the grocery store reading it ten times over to give me enough strength to realize that what I am craving is not what I need. And if I'm at home I can read it then pull out my Bible and read it until it has filled me enough to move on until the next wave hits. 

With everything that is in me, I want to beat but my needs are great and it's going to require a lot of help. 

*I need to first and foremost keep my eyes on Jesus and stay in the Word.
*I need to be accountable. 
*I need people to hold me accountable; to reach out to me and ask me how I am doing. 
*I need to find a support group either online or outside of my home and interact with them regularly. 
*I need people who are not afraid to be honest with me.
*I need my friends and family to love me and pray for me daily.

What would be ideal is this: 
to have 7 people, one for each day of the week, that could pray for me and reach out to me through a phone call, email, text or facebook my wall 2-3 times in that day. Send me a scripture, words of encouragement, ask me how I'm doing, suggest things to point me in the right direction, etc. I realize it's a lot to ask but I am desperate. At the same time I am confident that God will send 7 people if not more to walk with me through my addiction and help me beat it. If you're up for the task please don't hesitate to reach out to me. 

Love & blessings to all, 
Brandy ~


If you can't see the video posted below, click here to watch Overcomer by Mandisa