A little over 6 months has passed since my last blog and I am ashamed to say that I am back in the same place I started all those months ago. Yes I am still fighting this battle with food and my addiction to it. As I sat down to write today, a lyric popped into my head.
I'm in a war every minute, I know for sure I'll never win it,
I am David up against Goliath, and it's a fight...
That's exactly how it feels. Like I am up against a giant that from where I'm standing looks impossible to defeat. That's how it looks, but in my heart I know that's not true at all. I can take him down, I know I can cause I got Jesus and he is all I need to conquer anything. Yet still I fight and I struggle on a daily basis. Despite what the lyrics go on to say:
'Cause You are, bigger than any battle I'm facing
You are, better than anything I've been chasing
Saviour and Royalty, the only hope for me
Jesus, You are, You are...
Yes, Jesus is way bigger than this battle I'm facing. He is way better than what I've been chasing. He IS the only hope for me. So why am I still stuck in this same place? Oh how I wish I had the answer. I feel like such a failure for not being able to tackle and take down this addiction. Why is it so hard to stay committed to healthy eating and exercise? I'm tired of fighting this battle and always ending up a loser.
On a good note, my spiritual health is improving. I had been looking for some time for a women's devotional Bible and had come across several that I liked but wasn't in a position to pay the asking price. Well I happened to visit the Christian store this past Monday and found one of my picks for 50% off. My new NLT Sanctuary bible has been such a blessing! You see I don't just have a hard time committing to getting healthy. I also struggle with being in the Word daily and having that quiet time with the Lord that I so very much need. I'm happy to say though that I am 6 days strong in the Word thanks to the daily devotionals and I'm working on reading it from cover to cover for the first time ever. It's true, in my 13 years of knowing Jesus I have never read the entire bible. Psalms, Proverbs and the New Testament several times but have yet to get through all the books in the Old Testament. In light of the struggles I just shared in the area of my spiritual health I guess I just answered the my own question LOL Why am I still stuck in this same place? the core issue is failure to commit.
Lord, I need your help. Show me the error of my ways. Teach me how to walk in obedience. You know my struggles, you know where I'm lacking. Help me be the kind of woman whose yes means yes. Help me commit to you by being in your Word daily and having quiet time with you. I know that in order for the other things in my life to fall into place it requires putting you first ALWAYS. I am certain that once I learn to walk in obedience to Your will and Your ways then and only then will I see the other areas of my life begin to change. It all starts with you Lord. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
I'm in a war every minute, I know for sure I'll never win it,
I am David up against Goliath, and it's a fight...
That's exactly how it feels. Like I am up against a giant that from where I'm standing looks impossible to defeat. That's how it looks, but in my heart I know that's not true at all. I can take him down, I know I can cause I got Jesus and he is all I need to conquer anything. Yet still I fight and I struggle on a daily basis. Despite what the lyrics go on to say:
'Cause You are, bigger than any battle I'm facing
You are, better than anything I've been chasing
Saviour and Royalty, the only hope for me
Jesus, You are, You are...
Yes, Jesus is way bigger than this battle I'm facing. He is way better than what I've been chasing. He IS the only hope for me. So why am I still stuck in this same place? Oh how I wish I had the answer. I feel like such a failure for not being able to tackle and take down this addiction. Why is it so hard to stay committed to healthy eating and exercise? I'm tired of fighting this battle and always ending up a loser.
On a good note, my spiritual health is improving. I had been looking for some time for a women's devotional Bible and had come across several that I liked but wasn't in a position to pay the asking price. Well I happened to visit the Christian store this past Monday and found one of my picks for 50% off. My new NLT Sanctuary bible has been such a blessing! You see I don't just have a hard time committing to getting healthy. I also struggle with being in the Word daily and having that quiet time with the Lord that I so very much need. I'm happy to say though that I am 6 days strong in the Word thanks to the daily devotionals and I'm working on reading it from cover to cover for the first time ever. It's true, in my 13 years of knowing Jesus I have never read the entire bible. Psalms, Proverbs and the New Testament several times but have yet to get through all the books in the Old Testament. In light of the struggles I just shared in the area of my spiritual health I guess I just answered the my own question LOL Why am I still stuck in this same place? the core issue is failure to commit.
Lord, I need your help. Show me the error of my ways. Teach me how to walk in obedience. You know my struggles, you know where I'm lacking. Help me be the kind of woman whose yes means yes. Help me commit to you by being in your Word daily and having quiet time with you. I know that in order for the other things in my life to fall into place it requires putting you first ALWAYS. I am certain that once I learn to walk in obedience to Your will and Your ways then and only then will I see the other areas of my life begin to change. It all starts with you Lord. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
