I was googling some scriptures online this morning to help me with an addiction that has held me captive for far too long. Food addiction. I absolutely have no control over what I eat and how much I consume and I'll be honest, it scares me. You would think that would be enough for me to fight with all that is in me, but it's not. They say food addiction is the hardest to overcome since food is needed for sustenance. Not that I prefer to have another addiction instead of this one as all of them come with their own struggles.
I have tried time and again to get control over it, not just on my own but on occasion with the help of others and through God centered bible studies. I do good for about 2-3 weeks then a craving gets hold of me and I give in. Within a few days I am completely off the wagon and right back where I started. It is a very destructive cycle. The older I get, the more concerned I become that I haven't been able to get a handle on this.
For me it's not about being thin, it's about getting healthy. Right now, that's a long way off. At this point I would be satisfied just to get out of the obese range and into the overweight category. But I struggle daily and am unable to get a grip on it. I have no off switch; no sensor that tells my brain to stop eating; no feeling of full which all contribute to my current state of being.
I know it pains my husband to see me like this; to see me struggling and not able to do anything for me; to see me emotional and not be able to comfort me. He too seems to be at a loss on how to help me.
Back to the "googling"...
I already knew one verse and where to find it. Matthew 4:4 says that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. The other that came to mind was from John 4:32 where Jesus says that he has food to eat that they know nothing about. It was this second verse that lead me to a page at Heartlight Magazine and there I found these words about this scripture:
"Jesus had real food, food that sustained his soul and not just his body. While food is greatly valued by Jesus and his disciples, we must always remember that Jesus is trying to open our eyes so we can see the real food God longs to provide us. The same power that sustained Jesus can sustain us. Let's find that food!"
Following that was a prayer:
"Open my eyes, dear Lord, and help me see what is important. Turn my heart to your will, your Word, and your Spirit for I know that only these can truly nourish me and sustain me. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."
My hope is to take what I learned today and use it daily. I have written the prayer on an index card and plan to carry it with me. So when I want to eat the bag of chips sitting in the kitchen just because I can rather than out of hunger; when I'm at the store and want to buy a box of donuts and go home and scarf them all down because I love how they taste; when I want to eat a second breakfast cause the first one I just finished didn't satisfy me even though I know I got enough calories from it to sustain me... I can pull the card out of my pocket and read it. Even if it means standing in the aisle at the grocery store reading it ten times over to give me enough strength to realize that what I am craving is not what I need. And if I'm at home I can read it then pull out my Bible and read it until it has filled me enough to move on until the next wave hits.
With everything that is in me, I want to beat but my needs are great and it's going to require a lot of help.
*I need to first and foremost keep my eyes on Jesus and stay in the Word.
*I need to be accountable.
*I need people to hold me accountable; to reach out to me and ask me how I am doing.
*I need to find a support group either online or outside of my home and interact with them regularly.
*I need people who are not afraid to be honest with me.
*I need my friends and family to love me and pray for me daily.
What would be ideal is this:
to have 7 people, one for each day of the week, that could pray for me and reach out to me through a phone call, email, text or facebook my wall 2-3 times in that day. Send me a scripture, words of encouragement, ask me how I'm doing, suggest things to point me in the right direction, etc. I realize it's a lot to ask but I am desperate. At the same time I am confident that God will send 7 people if not more to walk with me through my addiction and help me beat it. If you're up for the task please don't hesitate to reach out to me.
Love & blessings to all,
Brandy ~
If you can't see the video posted below, click here to watch Overcomer by Mandisa
I have tried time and again to get control over it, not just on my own but on occasion with the help of others and through God centered bible studies. I do good for about 2-3 weeks then a craving gets hold of me and I give in. Within a few days I am completely off the wagon and right back where I started. It is a very destructive cycle. The older I get, the more concerned I become that I haven't been able to get a handle on this.
For me it's not about being thin, it's about getting healthy. Right now, that's a long way off. At this point I would be satisfied just to get out of the obese range and into the overweight category. But I struggle daily and am unable to get a grip on it. I have no off switch; no sensor that tells my brain to stop eating; no feeling of full which all contribute to my current state of being.
I know it pains my husband to see me like this; to see me struggling and not able to do anything for me; to see me emotional and not be able to comfort me. He too seems to be at a loss on how to help me.
Back to the "googling"...
I already knew one verse and where to find it. Matthew 4:4 says that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. The other that came to mind was from John 4:32 where Jesus says that he has food to eat that they know nothing about. It was this second verse that lead me to a page at Heartlight Magazine and there I found these words about this scripture:
"Jesus had real food, food that sustained his soul and not just his body. While food is greatly valued by Jesus and his disciples, we must always remember that Jesus is trying to open our eyes so we can see the real food God longs to provide us. The same power that sustained Jesus can sustain us. Let's find that food!"
Following that was a prayer:
"Open my eyes, dear Lord, and help me see what is important. Turn my heart to your will, your Word, and your Spirit for I know that only these can truly nourish me and sustain me. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."
My hope is to take what I learned today and use it daily. I have written the prayer on an index card and plan to carry it with me. So when I want to eat the bag of chips sitting in the kitchen just because I can rather than out of hunger; when I'm at the store and want to buy a box of donuts and go home and scarf them all down because I love how they taste; when I want to eat a second breakfast cause the first one I just finished didn't satisfy me even though I know I got enough calories from it to sustain me... I can pull the card out of my pocket and read it. Even if it means standing in the aisle at the grocery store reading it ten times over to give me enough strength to realize that what I am craving is not what I need. And if I'm at home I can read it then pull out my Bible and read it until it has filled me enough to move on until the next wave hits.
With everything that is in me, I want to beat but my needs are great and it's going to require a lot of help.
*I need to first and foremost keep my eyes on Jesus and stay in the Word.
*I need to be accountable.
*I need people to hold me accountable; to reach out to me and ask me how I am doing.
*I need to find a support group either online or outside of my home and interact with them regularly.
*I need people who are not afraid to be honest with me.
*I need my friends and family to love me and pray for me daily.
What would be ideal is this:
to have 7 people, one for each day of the week, that could pray for me and reach out to me through a phone call, email, text or facebook my wall 2-3 times in that day. Send me a scripture, words of encouragement, ask me how I'm doing, suggest things to point me in the right direction, etc. I realize it's a lot to ask but I am desperate. At the same time I am confident that God will send 7 people if not more to walk with me through my addiction and help me beat it. If you're up for the task please don't hesitate to reach out to me.
Love & blessings to all,
Brandy ~
If you can't see the video posted below, click here to watch Overcomer by Mandisa
hi brandy!
ReplyDeleteso glad you shared :) you are not alone dear sister! so many of us women have food addictions to various degrees. i often think about it like godly men and pornography. we know Jesus is the way and somehow still struggle to get out. here is a website and a great book that i found helpful . http://www.weighdown.com/ there is no one method for anyone we just have to keep hanging on to Jesus and let Him be our all in all. Keep on keepin on and god will deliver you! it is only in Him that we have abundant life as you know and He will fill you up <3 huggs! and i am praying for u :)
lisa heisler
Thank you so much for the encouragement and prayers Lisa! I know we didn't go on many but I would love to be able to go on a walk with you through town right now and catch up :) I will be sure to check out that website and see what they have to offer. Love you sweet sister <3
ReplyDeleteBrandy...
ReplyDeleteYou are so brave allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. I've learned alot about addiction over the past year and regardless of which one you struggle with, the first step is admitting you are powerless. No addiction can be conquered alone, support is imperative, especially from a higher power. My son who is in recovery, knows his 100 days of sobriety would not be possible if he did not put it in God's hands. I too struggle with weight, up and down. My story is very similar to yours, Im like a freight train at first....then I derail! Then I get so mad at myself for disappointing myself, I punish myself even more with food. So I get you totally, you are not alone! First steps are in my place, oneday at a time!
You got this!
Michelle
Amen sister, My heart knows you and your struggle.I have lived and still struggle with it at times. God is faithful and He will help you overcome. It is in His word as truth that you can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you. And taking care of your temple so that you can be healthy; to be a better testimony of Him; to give Him the honor and Glory for your life; is something that God will honor!
ReplyDeleteThank you friends for your support and the words of encouragement. I know this is just another example of God working in my life. Sending angels such as yourselves to fill me with what I need. Love you all and I that just as you have blessed me that you may be blessed as well!
ReplyDelete